OVERCOMERS

Revelation 2:26 
 ²⁶And he that overcometh, and keepeth my works unto the end, to him will I give power over the nations:

We sisters who have been through the trial, breast cancer treatment, are called 'Survivors', yes, but we who believe, are also 'Overcomers', and our reward is with the LORD.

I have had a mastectomy and the second round of chemo, I am finished with the 'treatments', and been deemed 'cancer free'.  Now, I am waiting for the 'clean up' (implants), but most importantly, I am waiting on the LORD, to see what He will do next in my life.  Now we will see what the LORD will do.  This has been all for His Glory.  I am not so vain that I am making plans, because like I tell my daughters, "If you want to make God smile, tell Him your plans", or like my daughter, Kathryn elaborates - "If you want to make God roll on the floor laughing, tell Him your plans".

When I started this journey back in January 2011, this is the Scripture that the LORD gave me -

John 11

 ¹Now a certain man was sick, named Lazarus, of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha.
 ²(It was that Mary which anointed the Lord with ointment, and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick.)
 ³Therefore his sisters sent unto him, saying, Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest is sick.
 ⁴When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.

So, now I can say - be glorified LORD, be glorified...

MY CASE MANAGER

I was thinking that there should be more case management in cancer treatment, that's just my opinion. 

I have learned alot about cancer treatment, been to several hospitals, talked to Social Workers, Navigators, and various organizations, but it would be nice if there were someone who knew my situation, followed me through and provided resources as I needed them. 

For instance, I was diagnosed with two different cancers, and one the doctors did not even know about until I asked them to also remove the right breast along with the left one.  They knew a cancer existed there, but they did not think cancer was in the right breast, but they followed my request and they did it.  It turned out that there was cancer in the right breast also.

Then when the Oncologist stated that my treatment would entail a chemo, Gemzar,  and also Herceptin, because the new cancer was a tumor that overexpress the HER2/neu protein.   I thought great.  They did a heart scan first because, Herceptin can affect the heart, and they wanted to be sure my heart could take it.  Everything was fine until Medicaid said Herceptin cannot be used in my situation, regardless of what the doctor recommends, and they denied treatment.  So my Oncologist recommended that I appeal.  So I'm contacting a legal aid attorney to have this done.  I don't know what I'm doing.

But it's all a learning process.  Learning to keep trusting God.  He knows how much I can bear.  A Social Worker asked me the other day if I were stressed or anxious about anything, such as my car broke down, I have to move and especially this cancer.  I thought about it, and I knew I should be stressed, but I'm not. 

It was then that I realized that God is my CASE MANAGER - I know He sends Angels to guide the surgeons hands, overlook my case, and the Holy Spirit comforts and counsels me, and then Jesus is the best Friend, Priest, Brother and Supporter anyone could have.  Jesus is my BFF...

It's all in His Hands.  I'm declaring that I will live and not die -

 IT'S PROMISED - I BELIEVE

LIFE ETERNAL - LIFE ABUNDANT

NEXT STEPS...

THIS SHOULD BE AN INTERESTING WEEK, I have an outpatient procedure to put in another port on Wednesday.  Dr. Phillips, surgeon, took the port out when she did the bilateral mastectomy five weeks ago.  This is a simple procedure, but I am just getting over the mastectomy.  The plan is to start chemo again after the port is put in.  They will be using a third chemical, taxol.  The side effects are not suppose to be as bad.  My hair is just starting to grow back, but this chemical will probably stop growth, but supposedly the nausea will not be as bad.  The side effects were not all that bad the first time.  I just felt 'crappy' after the second treatment, I had the 'blahs' and was tired most of the time, although I did work some.  Feeling 'crappy'  doesn't sound nice, but that's the only way I can think to described it. I learned some ways to help in dealing with nausea, such as eating small portions, not drinking anything after eating, and not lying down, this was in order to allow my body to digest the food normally.  I'll add other tips in a side bar later.  But I also discovered that my taste buds were affected and my sense of smell, and so I didn't want to eat bland foods.  They didn't warn me of this.

I got a second opinion from another surgeon after my surgery, and he stated that the first round of chemo didn't appear to work that well because on the left side there was still a large tumor and the lymph nodes were affected, and they discovered another type of tumor on the right side.  It is still a matter of trusting God, because man, doctors, do not know it all.  I am requesting a pet scan to determine if the cancer has spread.  The surgeon could only say that he could not tell, only that it had spread to the lymph nodes, and a scan would tell if it has spread to other parts of my body.  So like I stated, only God knows.  I'm still praying for healing, a miracle, for what only God can do.

          Also, next week I will get the results of the braca test.  Because a new cancer, different type of cancer, was discovered on my right side, I qualified for the braca test.  This test usually costs around $3,000, and my medicaid plan originally would not pay for it.  But because of the new cancer, which suggests a genetic connection, they will pay for it.  The results of this test will indicate the course of treatment and may provide information for my other family members.

          In addition, I am looking for a new place to live, actually for a home.  Since my house was foreclosed in 2009, I have been living with friends, family and associates.  It will be nice to have my own place again.  I have always had my own home.  I was in my house for 10 years.  It was where I had raised and homeschooled my six children.  I guess I am not the only person in this situation.  But that doesn't make it any easier.  I plan to look into the housing situation for women going through cancer treatment.  It's difficult when you can't work, and have financial issues, in a hurting economy.  Trusting God...

HINDS FEET....

Hinds feet on High Places - 

I've read this book many times. Each time I see myself a little further along, but not since the recent mastectomy, do I see myself at this point.  All my plans and goals for the peace corps and early child programs and retirements plans were silenced.

"Still there was silence, a silence as of the grave, for indeed she was in the grave of her own hopes and still without the promised hinds feet, still outside the High Places with even the promise to be laid down on the altar.  This was the place to which the long, heartbreaking journey had led her.  Yet just once more before she laid it down on the altar, Much-Afraid repeated the glorious promise which had been the cause of her starting for the High Places.  "The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet and he will make me to walk upon mine High Places.  To the chief singer on my stringed instruments: (Hab 3:19) Hinds feet... page 213.

'The priest put forth a hand of steel, right into her heart. There was a sound of rending and tearing, and the human love, with all it's myriad rootlets and fibers, came forth.'
He held it for a moment and then said, "Yes, it was ripe for removal, the time had come. There is not a rootlet torn or missing."

This is what Dr. Phillips told me when she described the removal of the margins around the tumor.

"...nothing but ashes remained, either of the love itself, which had been so deeply planted in her heart, or of the suffering and sorrow which had been her companions on that long, strange journey.  A sense of utter, overwhelming rest and peace engulfed Much-Afraid.  At last, the offering had been made and there was nothing left to be done.  When the priest had unbound her she leaned forward over the ashes on the altar and said with complete thanksgiving, 'It is finished.'... (Hinds feet...page 214).

It's done, nothing will ever be the same again, '...old things are passed away

I AM MORE THAN A CONQUEROR (Romans 8:37)

I HAVE LITTLE FAMILY OR FRIEND SUPPORT THROUGH THIS BATTLE, BUT I GOT JESUS...

I hear other women tell about the support of their husbands, how they would stick by them, and support and assist them.  But I'm divorced. One women who had just finished chemo, told how her mother would fix her nutritious drinks.  Another told me how her sisters assisted her through it all.

I do have friends, and one friend in particular, who have given me positive help and prayers.  I thank God for them.

I am not feeling sorry for myself, well maybe just a little, but at times I feel like a boxer in the fight of my life. It's not just the cancer that I'm battling, but it's everything that could possibly keep me from being all that I was meant to be, according to God's purposes.

This is where faith comes.  Faith must be exercised.  I must believe in God even when I don't know what He is doing.  I must believe even when I hurt so bad, I don't know how I will go on.

I must trust in His love for me.

Sometimes I'm knocked down. I remember the days after the 2nd and 3rd chemo treatments, when I could barely get up from the bed. I blamed it on the treatments, they said it would make me tired, but I realized that it was really depression. This was hard to admit, because I considered myself a 'strong woman in God', that's what the t-shirt said. But there are times when we do get weak and get knocked down.

Then it would seem that satan was throwing everything, and everybody, at me to keep me down.  This would also remind me that God must have some big plans for me, more than I could ask or imagine, otherwise why would satan be fighting me so hard.  I had forgotten who I was in Christ. I would remember, and would recite positive affirmations (with lots of prayer, praise and reading the Word) -

'I am strong in the Lord and in the Power of His might.' (Ephesians 6:10)
'I am getting all my needs met by Jesus.' (Philippians 4:19)
'I am healed by His stripes (1Peter 2:24)
'I am more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37)
'I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony.' (Revelation 12:11)
'I am walking by faith and not by sight.'(2Corinthians 5:7)
'I am bringing every thought into captivity.' (2 Corinthians 10:5)
'I am being transformed by the renewing of my mind.' (Romans 12:1-2)
'I am more than a conqueror.' (Romans 8:37)
'I am freee!!!' (John 8:36)
'I am sanctified.' (1 Cor. 6:11)
'I am healed!!!' (1 Peter 2:24)
'I am Victorious !!!' (1 John 5:4)

JESUS HAS ALREADY OVERCOME...
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